Having enough time to do all the things you would like to do is an on-going challenge. When you analyse how much time you spend each day doing things you think are expected of you you may think you have no choice but to continue in that way. However you have choices and it’s important to distinguish between what is in your job description for example and what you do for others because you think they expect you to do those things.
I wrote previously about how sometimes you have to stop doing things for other people so that you can have more time for yourself. This is a delicate balance between what you do for you and what you do for others, especially what you perceive other people expect from you.
Everyone is used to having a particular role in life and in that role you believe that you ‘should’ behave in certain ways. And yet doing those things may be using up so much of your time that you find it difficult to have enough time to do things which are important for you.
However what you do for others may be things which are classified as ‘shoulds.’
Write the words: I should…. and fill in the blank as many times as you can. These are your ‘shoulds’ the things you feel other people expect from you.
Now, look at your list and change the ‘I should’ to ‘if I choose to’ and notice the difference in how you feel about it.
For example: ‘I should telephone my parents every day.’ to ‘ I telephone my parents every day, if I choose to.’
When you do this you change the obligation to a choice. You may still may decide to carry out the same actions but do so willingly rather than with resentment. And you also give yourself the choice to not do so sometimes.
Louise L Hay in her book ‘You can Heal Your Life’ talks about being ‘self-ish.’ This means putting your own needs first sometimes. This is vital to do if you want to have more time and a more balanced life.
When you start to give yourself a choice you may find that not only are some of your shoulds things which you actually are not expected to do by the recipients but they may even encourage and support you in doing more for yourself and your own health and well being too. In the end unless you look after your own needs you will be much less efficient at dealing with other people’s needs and your own health and well being will suffer too.
